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What can you do for someone who is diagnosed?Every woman who receives a diagnosis of breast cancer needs support. This can take the form of information, emotional support from family and friends, or a need to share experiences and concerns with other women with breast cancer. How can you help? Regular contact by a card, phone call or a visit, can mean a lot. People with cancer often have many visitors when they are first diagnosed, but cancer treatment can be lengthy and visitors can dwindle as time goes on. It’s OK to feel awkward and not know what to say – there are no “right” words. The best thing you can do is keep in touch as time passes. Listen Each woman with breast cancer has different needs. Some want to talk about their cancer; others welcome a diversion. Pay attention to your friend’s and/or family members cues. Don’t be afraid to ask her what she wants. Take her children for an afternoon Treatment for breast cancer can be time-consuming and tiring for a woman. At the same time, her children may have greater emotional and attention needs than ever before. Offer to look after her children for a few hours – take them to the park or the zoo. Prepare a meal Drop by occasionally with a precooked meal. In addition to the tiredness your friend may be experiencing, nausea can make cooking and eating even more of a chore. A ready-made meal will save her tremendous time and effort – and you’ll also be helping by ensuring she’s eating properly. Do some chores Cut the grass. Do the laundry. Wash the windows. Go grocery shopping. Take the children to school. Having friends take care of these daily activities can help a lot. Be careful not to over step and make her feel inadequate or useless. Listen to her. Offer to drive and stay with your friend through appointments Transportation to and from doctor’s appointments and treatments can be difficult. Some cancer treatments are hard on women and may make driving stressful. Often information given by a specialist may not be properly heard and understood. A support person in the room focusing on the information being given can help the woman receive all the relevant information. Ask when, not what Many women find it hard to ask for help. Make it easier for your friend or relative to accept your help by asking “when?” instead of “what?” For instance: “When can I do your grocery shopping?” Support her partner While most focus is on supporting the woman, her closest confidant is her partner. This person will be going through a difficult time and by letting them know they are appreciated and listened to can also help them in their struggle with this disease. |
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